Baby steps, baby steps
I mentioned a week or so ago about how I made the decision to go vegetarian, which I was hesitant about announcing in the first place, but I never discussed why I made that choice. I’ve never seen Food, Inc. or other movies about animal cruelty, how our food is prepared, etc., but I’ve never really been a huge meat-eater. When beef comes out a little pink I’ve always thought of it as “still moo-ing” and I always check my chicken to make sure that it’s not pink (seriously, I cut a piece of chicken breast and stare at each piece as I put it in my mouth to make sure that it’s done). I’m also an animal lover and don’t like to think about where my food comes from and what happened to it before it gets on my plate – which is why making the decision to become a vegetarian was an easy choice.
However, after reading Paige’s Vegetarianism Checkpoint post I realized that while my heart is in the right place, my head is not. Sure I did some research about where I should get my protein, how much I need, etc. before I made the decision to stop eating meat, but I don’t think I did enough to truly know what I was doing. I worry every day if I’m fueling my body with what it needs to be healthy and that in and of itself isn’t healthy. Heck, sometimes I feel like I’m still trying to learn how to put together a well balanced meal and yet I’m trying to omit an entire food group!
I know that vegetarianism (and eventually even veganism because milk and I don’t get along. No matter how much I love Greek yogurt it doesn’t love me back!) is my ultimate goal, but until I feel more comfortable and confident that I’m giving my body what it needs to function, I think I’m going to have to take a few steps back. I’ve decided to focus on “Clean Eating” and incorporating meat (free range/organic) back into my diet until I can do more research to make sure that I’m taking care of my body.
Since I’m being honest here, I feel a little bit like a loser, like I couldn’t “cut it” as a vegetarian. I know that’s not the case, rather that I made the decision before I’d really done all the research, which is really unlike me! I guess life truly is about the process, not perfection.
Have you ever made a big decision and then changed your mind about it? How did it make you feel?